The Hidden Cost of Love
There’s a lot more that goes into something you love than meets the eye.
Take for instance my passion for Disney pins. It started innocently. We were at Disney-MGM Studios (when it was still called that) and we were just looking at souvenir pins when Emma noticed a cute one on a Cast Member’s lanyard. The nice young woman said these were for trading and if she had a pin to trade for it she could. So, after Emma looked up at me with these big, round eyes, I bought a pin for her so she could trade, and she walked away a happy camper. Pretty soon, every time we would go to the park we would buy a pin to add to our collection, but these were nice pins, and we didn’t want to trade them away so we also bought pins just for trading. Well, our collection started to grow, and we didn’t have anywhere to store them safely until I noticed they sold pin bags you could use for storage. Pretty soon, I’m going to special pin trading events and waiting in line for hours for a pin release and purchasing tickets just for the OPPORTUNITY to buy MORE pins. The pins themselves are fairly reasonably priced, but when you add in the special pin backs to secure them, the pin bags to haul them, the pin backpacks to trade with…well, you get the idea. But overall, it’s worth it. When you love something, it is worth investing in.
The same is even more true with people.
Hobbies are great and people certainly become passionate about them. But when we invest in people, the reward is so much greater and the people who mean the most to you are certainly worth investing in. They say you can’t buy love, but you can sure put a price tag on it. According to a survey of 1,500 engaged and married couples, a lifetime of love costs $192,769.19.[1] By the way, that’s just gifts, date nights, special occasions, engagement rings and wedding bands. That doesn’t include everyday expenses, family vacations, homes, or kids. $192,769.19. The first year is the most expensive, clocking in on average at $9,233.32. It gets progressively less expensive from there on out. But even dating is an investment. Want to find out if that person is worth it? It’s going to cost you up front to the tune of $196 per date.[2] Now if the date is a bomb, you might feel ripped off. But when you find someone special, the cost seems trivial because it was worth it.
Let me tell you, God thinks you’re worth it, too.
And he’s willing to pay any price for you. If you have a Bible or a Bible app on your phone please turn to the Gospel of Luke, chapter 10, beginning with verse 25. In the story from John 3, Nicodemus, a Pharisee and a member of the Jewish ruling council seeks out Jesus, but unlike other Pharisees, he’s not trying to kill Jesus or trick him. He genuinely seeks to understand him better. This is just the first of Nicodemus’ encounters with Christ and over time he comes to believe in him as the Messiah. But here, he comes seeking to know more and Jesus reveals to him that he is indeed the Christ that was prophesized. For us, the most important lines are also the most famous of the Bible. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world the condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” That is how much God loves you. That God would sacrifice his only Son out of his love for you. When we think of what something will cost us, we often revert to money, but God tells us and shows us that love requires something more. And we see that here in the story of the Good Samaritan.
25 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[c]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[d]”
28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[e] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”
37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” – Luke 10:25-37
Love means investing in what’s important.
Sometimes that’s a person like it is in this story. Sometimes, it’s an ideal or an institution. And in this story, we see it in the time, talent, gifts, service, and witness the Samaritan gives to the injured Jewish man. By the way, it isn’t a coincidence these are the same five qualities we promise to give to the church when we join. Time, talent, gifts, service, and witness. Time is probably the most obvious. He stops. The Samaritan who probably wouldn’t have been given the time of day by most Jewish people stops for this Jewish man in need. But then he uses his own possessions to dress his wounds enough so he can travel. He bandages him up using the skill he has and uses his own oil and wine to flush it out. He uses his donkey to transport the man to a local inn, also meaning he has to walk. And then he uses his own money to pay the innkeeper. Time, talent, gifts, and service were used to witness to the love Christ showed to us.
Do you invest in the things that are important?
It’s so easy for us to be like the Levite and the priest and ignore what truly matters. In this story what mattered was this injured man on the side of the road. The first two men probably assumed someone else would stop. They were too busy. Too focused on themselves. But the Samaritan took time to notice what should have been obvious to the other two and not only noticed it but did something about it. How often do you take for granted the very things that are most important to you? Sometimes it’s your family. Sometimes it’s your spouse. Sometimes it’s time itself. And sometimes it’s the things you don’t even think about, but that you would miss terribly if they were gone. Too often people become so invested in their work they ignore their families. They don’t realize there is a growing distance between them and their spouse or their kids. Eventually, their spouse gets tired of being second fiddle. Their kids lose all trust and faith in them. And soon they have a broken home with broken people.
Take the time to invest in what is important.
Your family, your health, your faith. “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21. Jesus isn’t talking about just material treasures, but power, fame, recognition, and all the things that distract us from loving our families, taking care of our health, and separating us from our faith. One of my colleagues was famous for overworking himself. In a bizarre twist of fate, I served multiple churches where he also served. I’d hear about how he would work so hard he would fall asleep at the church and wake up in time for worship. Or how he would travel three hours away to visit the friend of a family member of someone in the church because he heard they were in the hospital. But the stress he put upon himself to maintain that reputation ate at his body until he was forced to go to the hospital himself. He is a wonderful guy and a terrific pastor, but he didn’t set up boundaries where they were important, and it cost him. I don’t want the same to happen to you.
In this season of Thanksgiving, take the time to reflect on all of these thoughts.
How well are you balancing family, health, and faith? Are you investing as much in these as you do other aspects of your life? If not, what steps can you take to get back in balance. Just as you invest in your hobbies, your career, and other aspects of your life, make sure you create boundaries so they don’t take over your life. Keep focused on the things that are truly important and let us give thanks to God for what we have.
[1] https://www.shaneco.com/theloupe/articles-and-news/the-cost-of-love/
[2] https://studyfinds.org/love-inflation-fewer-dates/
Craig's Corner 