Rejection Protection
The surgery was only the beginning.
Granted, it’s a huge part of it and the most important, but the first month following the operation is intense. Mostly, the transplant team is concerned with rejection. And rejection, if it happens, can be a very quiet thing so there are a lot of indicators the team is watching to see how the kidney is doing. Body temperature, blood pressure, weight, and blood sugar are the things I have to measure multiple times a day. Then there are the blood tests. For the first month, we’re going over to the hospital twice a week and each time they take multiple samples of my blood and run it through a series of tests. They look at everything – my creatinine levels, BUN, eGFR, phosphorous, red blood cell count, white blood cell count, glucose, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Based on all of this information, they adjust my medications regularly.
And I do mean regularly. Nearly each time I’ve gone in they have adjusted my meds. And with 17 different medications, I am SO grateful they take such care managing them all. I have to tell you, it’s overwhelming. When I was in the hospital, the pharmacy team came in to go over everything with me. They allowed me to play with the instruments I would need to take all the measurements. They were willing to spend whatever time I needed to make sure I could do it myself when I got home. Even still, I felt lost and overwhelmed. It was just so much to learn in such a short amount of time. Thankfully, Tiffany (one of the social workers on the team) sat with me and helped me talk through it and helped me come up with a plan to not only make me feel more at ease but have a sense of control over the process. Plus, it was reassuring to know one slip up wasn’t going to kill me. I feel like I have a good routine down after the first week and it all seems pretty manageable. I do push myself probably harder than I should but it’s hard for me to feel so helpless. Still my family has been awesome. Emma has helped out a ton and Cassie has taken it upon herself to do all the shopping and transportation. Both of them have been such a blessing.
Today, it’s been a month since the surgery. Thankfully, I’m recovering well and things are progressing nicely. I’ve been ahead of the curve so far, but nothing like Cassie who went home THE NEXT DAY from the hospital. She was off pain meds soon after that. Her recovery has been miraculous! She was cleared to drive by the time I went home from the hospital and was able to pick me up. You can believe it was a relief to see her doing so well and welcoming me home. There have been some changes in my life as a result of the surgery. I have to be more careful because I am immunocompromised – especially the first few months when they are adjusting my rejection medication. They’re trying to find the right balance to make sure my body doesn’t reject Three while at the same time protecting me as much as possible from other infections. I can’t eat grapefruit or have anything with grapefruit juice (not a big loss). I also can’t eat anything raw or half-cooked – which means no sashimi or raw fish sushi (that IS a big loss). But it’s a small price to pay for new lease on life.
We celebrated our 20th anniversary during this month of recovery and I’ve got to say, it was not what I expected. It was better. In more ways than one, Cassie is a part of me in a way we never imagined. There couldn’t have been a more unimaginable show of love than what Cassie was willing to do for me. We’re both recovering well and I’m back to work at the church for my final month before moving on to a new adventure. In the meantime, keep us in your prayers for continued strength and healing and I will continue to keep you updated on our progress.
Joined at the Kidney, Part 2
I woke up and suddenly I had a new kidney.
Feels like I skipped some vital parts of the story, right? But that’s the difference between one day and the next. One day, you’re functioning at about 9% and the next, you have a new kidney. Your wife’s kidney. Who just happens to be a match. And who’s love and selflessness was so great she gave it up for me. Wow.
After I heard Cassie came through with flying colors, it was my turn. They transported me to the prep room where they had me answer more questions and went over the procedure with me. When they brought me in the nurses there told the attendant to put me over in the same corner where Cassie had been earlier. I can’t say enough about the medical teams and nursing staff at Stanford. They are truly top notch and worth every penny. The level of care we both received was beyond our expectations. The entire team came in to introduce themselves and to make sure I knew what was about to happen and to give me a chance to ask any questions. Then it was just the waiting as they prepped the room. The lone nurse left with me sat there and asked about our story, so I told her. I told her how amazing it was to find out we were a match. How more amazing it was Cassie was willing to do this for me. And how seemingly miraculous it was that it all came together the way it did. She listened intently with a smile on her face as I recalled our story.
Then it was time.
They wheeled me in and transferred me to the table. Pretty soon, I was out like a light. I don’t even remember going under anesthesia, but I do remember waking up. Suddenly, I was in a completely different room. I was hooked up to multiple IVs and had two tubes in my arm and three in my neck. I had monitors on my body and I had to lie still for twelve hours following the surgery, but they let Cassie come in and sit with me for a while. They escorted her into my room, and pulled up a chair for her next to my bed so we could hold hands. Then they quietly left and gave us time to ourselves. I told her how much I loved her and she said the same and we just sat quietly in the room holding hands with the night sky as our back drop.
I was drifting in and out of sleep those twelve hours. The nursing staff would come in frequently to check my vitals and see how I was doing. I wasn’t allowed to have water or anything right away (apparently the anesthesia can make you quite nauseous and some people react badly – that’s the last thing you want after major surgery to your body). But after those twelve hours, they let me have a liquid diet meal for breakfast to see how I would do. After that went well, they bumped me up to real food. Everything seemed to be going well for my recovery. Three (the new kidney) started working right away. Like Cassie, Three is a no nonsense kind of kidney and wanted to get right to the job. Pretty soon I was pumping out liquids and things were moving along.
Cassie’s recovery was quite miraculous. It hasn’t even been a week and she’s already off the pain meds they gave us (not me though – it’s going to take a bit longer for me). She left the hospital the next day! Leading a carnivore lifestyle has really helped Cassie’s body to become much more fit and healthy and she was the talk of the floor. Everyone who came in to see me commented how extraordinary her recovery was. I was so happy for her. The only sad part was I would be alone in the hospital, but it was great to see her get better so soon.
And it wasn’t bad for me at all. My recovery was going better than expected. They had originally projected I would be in the hospital until at least Sunday if not Monday, but as the week progressed, they decided I would be well enough to go home on Saturday! Again, I can’t say enough about the nursing staff at Stanford. They deserve every penny they were asking for. They were there for me and Cassie 24 hours a day. They always had a great attitude and a positive demeanor. They helped us without question. They offered to do things for us without us even asking. And they made sure we were well taken care of. And they were so polite on top of it all! Just an outstanding experience. If you need quality medical care, being at Stanford would be a blessing.
Saturday came and after getting two more doses of anti-rejection medication, I was sent on my way. The pharmacy staff came by and trained me on how to use my new medication. They also gave me a care package of medical goodies to help me and make sure I had everything I needed to succeed. Tiffany, the social worker came by and when I needed to talk (feeling a bit overwhelmed with the care I would need post-surgery), she came without question and sat with me as we worked on solutions together. I felt a whole lot better. Alex, my dietician called to give me support and to answer any questions, and the doctors came by whenever there was a question the nurses couldn’t answer right away. Even though I didn’t have my family in the room with me, I never felt alone and always felt much love and support. When it was finally time to leave, a bunch of the nurses and staff came to see me off. As I got wheeled off the floor, I felt ready for the next phase in my kidney journey. The road to recovery…
Joined at the Kidney, Part 1
I named it Three.
Cassie’s kidney now lives inside of me and I decided to name it Three. Three is such a powerful number. Three is the number of the Holy Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Three makes a family. And of course, three…is a magic number (any Schoolhouse Rock fans?). I’ve already told One and Two to make Three feel right at home and to play nice and so far it’s been going well.
But I’ve skipped quite a bit ahead in the story. When last we left I said over the next few weeks I would share some yummy recipes with you – and I will. But the next few weeks ended up in a blur of activity which led up to us having the transplant surgery. It was a tenacious few weeks, too. Full of anxiety and uncertainty along the way. We went in for our final evaluations on April 12, the day after I posted the last article and like I imagined, the weigh in was VERY close. I was at 237.4. Only a little over a pound away from the goal. Would that be enough?
The doctors were really impressed with my effort and ability to lose the weight naturally and everyone asked how I had done it (I should have just referred them to the blog). I shared my story with them and it made the biggest impression on the doctor who would be my actual surgeon, Dr. Busque, because at the evaluation meeting he was telling them all about it and how much it showed I was a good candidate for the surgery. Still, we had to wait a week for the results. In the meantime, the situation between the hospital and the nurses came to a head and the Stanford nurses union, CRONA, announced that they would be going on strike.
We waited.
The next week came and we were told we were approved! And then came the BUT…. But if the nurses went on strike it could be postponed indefinitely. They would of course fit us in as soon as they could. My surgery was what they called a preemptive transplant which would put us ahead of those already on dialysis, but for how long would it get delayed? In the middle of all of this we were getting ready for a move to a new church (more on that later) and we had to plan around that as well. It just seemed like our whole lives were in chaos! The strike happened and it looked more and more like they would pull the plug and reschedule us for some time in the future. We checked in constantly for any news, none of it good, and updates were few and far between. But thank God, the two sides came together before the end of the month and agreed on a new work package, literally the day our team was meeting to decide our fate. They approved our surgery and we had to check in the next morning!!!
My mother-in-law, Carol, bless her heart, flew on the latest possible flight on a moment’s notice to be here for us. We picked her up at the airport, came back to the house, got in a quick sleep, and headed out the next morning. It was exciting and at the same time a bit nerve-wracking. After all, we were about to go under the knife for major surgery. The success rate was very high. For Cassie, only 1 in 3000 ended up in fatality. Mine wasn’t as high, but still at over 99% you can’t really complain. Plus, we were in very good hands. The odds were as good as they were going to get. When we got to the hospital, it was time for even more tests. More blood work. Another COVID test. An EKG and chest x-ray. Thankfully, we passed all of those, too. Cassie and I were taken to separate rooms on the same floor – just two doors away. But with so many tests and other things going on we didn’t see much of each other until night time. She would be going in first at around 6am and I would follow some time around noon.
We went to bed. I didn’t sleep much. I was too excited and nervous and wanted to be sure to be up to see Cassie off to her surgery. I watched as she went down the hall, and then just waited to hear how it went. I knew her medical team was one of the best, but it was still a relief to know she came through with flying colors. Our post-op recovery would be in the main hospital so I would just have to wait until mine was done to see her. Wow…soon I would start life with a new kidney!
Keto Craig’s Continuing Chronicles
We’re a match!
I’ve always known Cassie and I were a match, but now I have biological proof. Our blood typing test came back positive. We are compatible for the kidney transplant! *BIG CELEBRATORY SOUNDS* But now what? Cassie is onto the next phase of being a living donor. They’ll do even more extensive blood testing as well as interviews with both a social worker and a dietician before seeing a doctoral team that will go over with her what the surgery will entail. At first it seemed weird when they asked her to come to the interview alone, but it soon dawned on both of us, that was done for her protection – in case she was being coerced or tricked into doing this. They just want to make sure she is doing this willingly and of her own volition. It’s sad they need to take that precaution but at the same time I’m glad they are. Sometimes we need protection.
As for me, even more testing, too. But mostly, they are waiting for me to lose enough weight for the surgery. Only about 12 more pounds to go. So how have I been losing weight? Lots of support from family and friends – especially Cassie who has been cheerleader, advocate, and strategist all rolled up into one. But on the nuts and bolts side, I’m focusing hard on limiting my carb intake, replacing sweet snacks and carb-loaded sides with something more nutritional. A lot more salads. And a lot more veggies in general. Even there, you still have to watch your carb intake, so I focus on the things I like that are relatively low carb like mushrooms and zucchini, and will still have some onions and tomatoes thrown in for added flavor. Instead of sugar, I rely a lot more on salt, fat (like butter and good mayo), spices – things on the more savory side to whet my appetite. For me, this works because my sodium and potassium levels have remained normal throughout my CKD. If they were elevated, I’d have to restrict myself further to avoid speeding up the kidney damage. My phosphorous levels have started to go up and that’s mostly because I replaced sugars and sweets with cheese and nuts – two things that are high in phosphorous which can have a dangerous effect on your body (if you’re curious, here’s a great article on phosphorous and why it’s important to monitor it). Knowing that, I’m working on dialing back my reliance on dairy and peanut butter and trying to find alternatives for quick snacks that will help me keep it under control.
Overall, I’m trying to keep my carb intake to between 30g to 50g per day. Generally, doing so will put my body into a state of ketosis where I’m burning fat and not sugar. To give you some perspective, I would typically have about 1.5 to 2 cups of rice PER MEAL. And that’s just the rice. That doesn’t include breading on my meat or croutons in my salad. ONE cup of rice is about 52g of carbs by itself, so I was having about twice as many carbs in one meal as I eat all day now. It’s hard for me to give up rice, so for a while I was having 1/4 cup of rice at lunch and dinner and just trying HARD not to have any other carbs, but eventually I started having just 1/4 cup of rice once a day and it gave me more flexibility to add in things like onions and tomatoes or other foods with limited carbs. That gave my meals more texture and more variety and surprisingly over time I haven’t missed it as much as I thought I would. Sometimes I don’t have any rice at all!
On the protein side, I’m trying to keep it below 80g per day although if I go a little above this I don’t worry as much. Too much protein CAN throw you out of ketosis, but 80g is still below normal so I haven’t worried a lot considering that it’s been working for weight loss and my numbers have been holding steady (Thank God!). It’s all about providing as little stress on my kidneys as possible. Thankfully, there are a LOT of things I DO like to eat that are keto friendly. Omelettes are something I’ve always enjoyed, but now create a lot more often. Eggs are a wonder food and incredibly good for you. I eat much more salmon (which is fine because I love salmon) and have found a number of creative ways to do it. And there’s this wonderful chicken dish that I’ve been making I was able to adapt to a keto lifestyle. Over the next few weeks, I’ll share with you some of these delicious recipes so you can make them yourself and taste the yumminess.
Overall, I’m down to 239.2 lbs – only 3.2 pounds away from my goal. Stanford wants me to get down to 236, and I feel really confident about it. Like I said, I’m not a doctor so this shouldn’t be construed as medical advice. As always, go talk to your doctor about what works best for your lifestyle. But I’ve been frustrated for so long losing weight and this has been working great for me. It might work great for you, too. So if it helps anyone in their journey or just inspires you to keep trying, then I’m happy to share my journey with you.
A Whole New World… Why I Love Disney
I have to admit my love of Disney is intense.
It peppers my life in ways even my wife doesn’t understand. It’s not the kind of intense that’s chaotic or obsessive, but intense in the way that it holds deep meaning in my life. The theme parks especially have a special place in my heart. A Disney theme park was the place I got my first job, was the place I met my first girlfriend, and was the place I bought my wife a Minnie Mouse ring and promised one day I would marry her. I came through on that promise by the way.
I love Disney because it hearkens back to an idealism about the world we are sorely missing. With reality TV everywhere we turn, we seldom get to imagine the way life COULD be. Today even our sit-coms are based “in reality.” When I was growing up, we watched shows like Brady Bunch, Happy Days, Family Ties and The Cosby Show. The reason these shows were so popular were not because anybody actually lived like that, but because they showed us the kind of life we aspired to have. The kind where parents make the right decisions in raising their kids. The kind where love and understanding triumph over selfishness and self-centeredness. And it brought hope we could rise above it all.
If you want reality TV, you simply have to turn on the news to see the worst in one another. But where is the counterbalance? Where are the images and examples that we can look up to and live for? They seem to be disappearing these days. One of the reasons I became a pastor was because I fully and whole-heartedly believe God offers us hope for a better life if we only reached out and took it. And I don’t mean in a blind faith kind of way either, but if we embraced what God has to teach us – to love one another – we could reshape the world! And that’s the kind of hope I want to share with others..
To me Disney offers that kind of hope. In a world filled with horrible realities, Disney often offers us a better way. One of the things I loved about working in the parks was the concept of the “berm.” The berm was a big wall that shut out the outside world. Beyond the berm was every trouble and worry that dotted our lives. But for a brief instant in time, when you walked beneath that sign that said, “Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy” you did just that. You lived in a place where magic exists and dreams do come true. Is it the reality of our world today? No, but it could be. And it should be.
We often take vacations at a Disney theme park, not just because they are fun and family-friendly, but because I want my family to have this hope in their lives. I want them to know that for an instant and maybe right now only in this place, does this kind of idealism exist in the world. But it does exist! Other theme parks may offer more thrilling rides or more dangerous rides, but none of them offer you a better way to live. We see this idealism in the animated movies Disney creates and we watch them come to life in the parks and we can hope at least for the day this idealism remains alive and well and can inspire us to make the world a better place. That’s why I’m a Disney Dad, because I want to make this world a better place for my children. Every child deserves to have hope, happiness, and love in their lives. Don’t you think?
Let It Be
Hi, ho! Kermit the Frog here.
Today I’m going to tell you why YOU should be a frog. Frogs are cool. We help clean the water. We eat all those bugs that bother you humans so much. We help important scientific research (not always by choice – but that’s another topic for discussion). And we are a very important part of the Circle of Life (talk to my friend Simba about that).[1] A few of us have even become famous. Thor, God of Thunder, he became a frog – the first frog superhero. Disney made a whole movie about us – The Princess and the Frog. I’m told they are going to make that into a ride even. Finally, Mr. Toad won’t be the only amphibian represented at Disneyland. And of course, there’s Jeremiah. He was a good friend of mine. Never understood a single word he said, but I would help him to drink his wine. Frogs are great! And if you ever get the chance to become one, I highly recommend it.
Thanks, Kermit.
I appreciate you for sharing your unique perspective on life as a frog. But what if I told you, we could all become frogs without kissing a princess or anything like that? (Kermit: I’d say you’re missing the best part of it all). Be that as it may, Kermit’s right. We should all want to be frogs and we can and we should. Says so right in the Bible. If you have a Bible or a Bible app on your phone, would you please find the Gospel of Matthew beginning with chapter 6, verse 25. Matthew 6:25. Now we’re not talking about turning green or eating insects. We’re talking about frogs of another sort. People who Fully Rely On God. Or FROG for short. This idea that we should learn to trust in God wholeheartedly is a theme that runs through the heart of the Bible. The foundation of our faith rests on our ability to be a FROG. It’s also one of the hardest things for us to do. For most of us, it’s something we will be working on for the rest of our lives, but the pursuit of it is worthwhile because even if we don’t fully succeed, the more we are able to trust in God, the more we are able to be our best selves. The more we are free to be how God created us. And the more confidence we gain in who are.
It’s easy for us to lose ourselves in the world around us.
We sometimes lose sight of our hopes and dreams, we become out of touch with God and God’s creation. Instead, it’s easier to focus on getting your Wordle done each morning than it is to live up to the potential of who God created you to be. Don’t get me wrong. I love Wordle. I’m still waiting for the word “about” to be the word of the day so I can win it in 1. But we enjoy these things because they are easily obtainable (okay sometimes Wordle isn’t all that easy either – but you get the point). They don’t require us to work on ourselves and improve bit by bit. They don’t require us to have faith in the unseen. BAM! They’re done. And in a world filled with so many unsolvable problems, sometimes we just want to feel life’s tiny triumphs to get us through the day. Just think of the MASSIVE events happening around us right now. There’s a war going on in the Ukraine. People are dying, are jumping in front of tanks, are holding back an invading force who attacked without provocation, and for what? Power? Greed? Self-interest? Things are finally lightening up again with COVID-19 and people are removing their masks and acting as if everything is back to normal. Of course, this is what it looked like before the Delta and Omicron waves moved in. Even though it’s MUCH better than it was even a couple of months ago, about 50,000 people are being admitted to hospitals around the country daily and still around 2,000 are dying.[2] Meanwhile, we have to deal with voting rights becoming MORE restrictive instead of less. People being MORE polarized in their beliefs than before. And MORE acts of racism happening on our streets. It’s hard not to dwell on these things and not worry. It can be tough to fully rely on God.
But then I’m reminded of a lesson Jesus shared with his disciples.
During his most famous sermon, what scholars call the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus shares this with his followers. This is from Matthew’s version of the story, an excerpt from Matthew 6:25-34. 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?… 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It’s natural to worry.
But if we let it stop us from doing what’s needed or doing what’s right, then it works against us. Excessive worrying can become all-consuming, and when that happens it also has some serious effects on our well-being. Worrying can lead to panic attacks, depression, headaches, breathing problems, loss of libido, upset stomach, extreme fatigue, increase blood pressure, and more.[3] Which of course, gives us even more to worry about. But notice what Jesus tells us here? “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Worrying is unproductive. It takes away precious time from doing things that are meaningful and fulfilling in life. It robs you of the joy God wants for you. Jesus isn’t saying we shouldn’t prepare. In fact, he’s big on preparing (i.e. the Parable of the Ten Virgins). Jesus wants us to worry less, not be careless. We should be prepared. We should do all we can to get out of a bad situation or do a good job on a test or prepare for an interview. But once we’ve done all we can, dwelling on it becomes counter-productive. You and I know we can pretty much talk ourselves into or out of anything given enough time and worry. And Jesus tells us, “…do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” There are enough problems for us to deal with TODAY that we don’t need to add to it by worrying about what MIGHT come tomorrow. Instead, focus on the here and now, on what you can accomplish in front of you, on the people in your life who need you in this moment, and let tomorrow be tomorrow. Or as in the words of Paul McCartney, “let it be.”
When Paul wrote the song, it was a time of stress in his life.
The Beatles were nearing the end of their career together and it was a time of change in both the lives of the band and in their personal lives as well. As Paul wrote, “…I’d been doing too much of everything, was run ragged, and this was all taking its toll. The band, me – we were all going through times of trouble, as the song goes, and there didn’t seem to be any way out of the mess. I fell asleep exhausted one day and had a dream in which my mum…did in fact come to me… (S)eeing my mom’s beautiful, kind face and being with her in a peaceful place was very comforting. I immediately felt at ease, and loved and protected… She seemed to realise I was worried about what was going on in my life and what would happen, and she said to me, ‘Everything will be all right. Let it be.’ … So, this song becomes a prayer, or mini-prayer. There’s a yearning somewhere at its heart. And the word ‘amen’ itself means ‘so be it’ – or ‘let it be.’”[4]
There is something powerful about releasing your cares and your worries to Christ.
It frees us to be our best selves. It’s hard to do our best or be our best when we are weighed down by doubt, anxiety, or fear – and that’s what worry is. It’s the cumulation of all those things. And if there is a way in which the devil becomes manifest in our lives, it’s from stopping us from being all God created us to be, by preying on our those fears and doubts. It’s one of the reasons why God wants us to learn to be more like Kermit in our lives and embrace our inner FROG. We need to all more fully rely on God to help us and guide us through life because with all that is going on around us, it can be tough to deal with, and if we’re not careful we can become overwhelmed. I know at times prayer seems counterproductive, especially for those of you who aren’t used to praying. It seems like we’re spending time just talking with God, who supposedly already knows what’s going on in our lives. So why are we wasting time just reciting again what God already knows? But that’s not the purpose of prayer. Prayer isn’t just sharing a wish list with God. It’s about communicating with God, it’s about focusing on God, and through that relationship strengthening our reliance on God. Of laying it down at his feet. It may not seem like it at the time, but learning to go to God and giving God the load is helping to train us to trust in the Lord and to let go of those things that are beyond our control. It’s an acknowledgement that we are not in this alone. Listen to the words of Jesus as he shares with us these words of wisdom, 27 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Lent is a time of reflection, a time to focus on our relationship with the Lord. So as we move toward that day of celebration where we sing praise and joy for God’s grace and mercy, let us spend time in prayer to draw closer to Christ in our lives. Let us all embrace our inner Kermit and become more FROG like every day. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Let it be.
[1] Frog facts from the website Save the Frogs
[2] https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/us/covid-cases.html
[3] https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/effects-on-body#The-effects-of-anxiety-on-the-body
[4] Paul McCartney, The Lyrics, pp. 413-414
Good Men Do Nothing
Eighty years have passed.
Eight years since President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, an order that would send to concentration camps nearly 120,000 innocent civilians out of fear and ignorance. That order would wreak havoc on the lives of those people, forcing them to lose untold millions of dollars in property and belongings while told they had to pack their lives up into one suitcase each. A lifetime in one suitcase. This was the culmination of decades of prejudice and violence against anyone of Asian descent. Alien Land Laws in California and across the country prohibited Asians from owning land.[1] A ruling in the California Supreme Court (People v. Hall) found Chinese people could not testify against white people because they were “a race of people whom nature has marked as inferior, and who are incapable of progress or intellectual development beyond a certain point” and presented a “clear and present danger” because they might one day “see them at the polls, in the jury box, upon the bench, and in our legislative halls.”[2] Those were racist quotes from the case used to justify setting free a murderer. The press did nothing to mitigate the hate. In fact, they stoked it with headlines shouting about a Yellow Peril and stoking the fires of hatred with claims that Asians were here to take over the minds of white people. So it came as no surprise when Congress did nothing to prevent this blatant act of racism. And while there were certainly people who stepped forward to do what’s right, the vast majority of Americans either openly supported or did nothing to stop it.
The excuse I often hear for this atrocity is that people were justifiably scared.
Without knowing if the threat was real and with actual violence against Japanese-Americans just for existing, maybe it was better to herd them off somewhere safe. But that argument has no legs to support it. Otherwise, our country would have locked up Germans and Italians also “for their safety.” This was despite absolutely no evidence that Japanese or Japanese-Americans were planning on rebelling against the government or its people. In fact two different studies came to the same conclusion, and yet the Japanese population on the mainland was herded off to camps in the most remote areas of the country under poor conditions and with no regard to their personal lives. It reminds me of a quote from Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
One of the gifts we have to offer as an historically Japanese church is the gift of this memory.
We keep alive this Day of Remembrance, not to dwell on the past, but to right the wrongs in the present. We, more than most, have a responsibility to keep alive those memories as a reminder to us all not to repeat the mistakes of the past. When fear and ignorance come creeping up to our door, we need to be on alert and do what we can to fight it. The Good Samaritan is an example of how we can act. There was this guy, who was left on the side of the road, stripped naked (literally), beaten and wounded. When a priest saw the man, he purposefully went to the other side of the road and left him to die. When a Levite (also a priestly man) saw the man lying there brutally beaten, he too crossed the street and left him on the road to die. It was only the Samaritan, a man despised by both the priests and the Levites, who chose to do the right thing. Too often Christians have acted more like the priest and the Levite than the Samaritan. Which is not to say there aren’t plenty of good Christians doing good works in the world for the sake of Jesus. But it is to say that often Christians have often stood on the sidelines while bad things happened. Take for example the reading from Scripture this morning.
15 Now it was the governor’s custom at the festival to release a prisoner chosen by the crowd. 16 At that time they had a well-known prisoner whose name was Barabbas. 17 So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, “Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas, or Jesus who is called the Messiah?” 18 For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him. 19 While Pilate was sitting on the judge’s seat, his wife sent him this message: “Don’t have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him.” 20But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed.
21 “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” asked the governor. “Barabbas,” they answered.22 “What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called the Messiah?” Pilate asked. They all answered, “Crucify him!” 23 “Why? What crime has he committed?” asked Pilate. But they shouted all the louder, “Crucify him!”
24 When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere, but that instead an uproar was starting, he took water and washed his hands in front of the crowd. “I am innocent of this man’s blood,” he said. “It is your responsibility!” 25 All the people answered, “His blood is on us and on our children!”
26 Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.– Matthew 27:15-26
Whose crime was worse?
The people who asked for Jesus’ blood or Pilate who didn’t have the courage to do what he KNEW was right? Failure to act is an act in itself. When we fail to stand up to prejudice or hatred or fear we are tacitly allowing it to happen. We are part of the problem instead of part of the solution. Complicity is as much a crime as doing the act itself. During the era after the Civil War, preachers, pastors, and other church leaders took to the pulpit to defend slavery and slave owners.[3] They would cite the Bible as part of their defense and it took over a century for them to be silenced. When the Japanese were locked up in camps, while there were definitely some who stood up against this overt act of racism and prejudice, the church largely remained silent. Christian leaders who didn’t speak out or who justified the act were the same people who said it was a “necessary evil” like slavery in the South. We cannot be the type of people who look the other way or perpetuate hatred and prejudice in any form. In an article for America, The Jesuit Review, Meghan Clark wrote a piece focused on white Americans, but something I think is apt for ALL Americans. She wrote, “We live in a culture that idolizes personal choice. This has obstructed our ability to recognize, confront and dismantle racism. Our narrow focus on the individual has deluded us into thinking that as long as we do not personally malign, attack or discriminate against persons of color, we can claim to be non-racist. Non-racism is a supposed third option, beyond racism and anti-racism, where politeness and civility are paramount. It recognizes the evil of white supremacy but, like Pontius Pilate, washes its hands of responsibility. As such, it is a rejection of racism that is also a passive acceptance of white supremacy. It allows white Christians to acknowledge racism is a sin while continuing to reap the benefits of white supremacy.[4] Meghan, herself Caucasian, wrote this as a call to all white Christians. But none of us, white or otherwise, can afford to simply stand by while the culture of racial hatred continues to stand.
We need to do more.
For each of us, that might be different. You don’t have to march in a protest rally to be considered “doing something.” Sometimes, it’s as simple as being kind and decent human beings when others are fueled by fear and bigotry. Sometimes, it’s as easy as inviting your neighbor over for dinner or bringing them a meal in a time of need. Sometimes, it’s donating to a worthy cause that helps those in need. There are as many different ways to show support as there are people. You just need to find the ways you feel can do the most good. But we have to do something. We have to stand up and denounce racism. We cannot afford to sit idly by, hoping someone else will do it. Dr. King wrote about this in his famous Letter from a Birmingham Jail. He wrote, “We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation. We must use time creatively, in the knowledge that the time is always ripe to do right.”[5]
Just last weekend, another form of hatred reared its ugly head – antisemitism.
Hundreds of plastic bags filled with rice and antisemitic messages were strewn randomly around Berkeley, claiming Jewish people were to blame for COVID. Even though there has been no link to COVID and Judaism this small group of hatemongers have decided to put the blame for our current pandemic squarely on one people. I guess they are conveniently forgetting about the hundreds of thousands of Christians who have rejected the vaccine, claiming God will protect them. Or the pastors in their pulpits claiming you lack faith if you get the vaccine. Instead, they place the blame on the Jewish community. It makes no sense whatsoever, but then again, racism and prejudice never do. As members of a community that understands this kind of irrational hatred, we have to first be inoculated against it by keeping an open mind and remembering the lessons of the past. Then we have to find ways to stand in support of those being persecuted. I hope in these times we remember the words of Edmund Burke, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” We cannot afford to be complicit when injustice happens around us or we might very well be the evil we hope to root out.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_land_laws
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People_v._Hall
[3] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/22/christian-confederate-slavery_n_7638676.html
[4] https://www.americamagazine.org/politics-society/2017/08/16/white-christians-non-racism-not-enough?utm_content=bufferf6f1b&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
[5] https://www.africa.upenn.edu/Articles_Gen/Letter_Birmingham.html
Keto Craig’s Campaign Continues
The journey to 236 is on the way…
My keto journey started on November 4, 2021. I remember the date clearly because I had gone on a carb binge the week before, wanting one last taste of those things I love before giving them up. Pizza, french fries, burritos, and I had to have my mom’s Tagliarini Casserole (recipe here)! Of course, it caused me to gain some weight, but I was confident my new lifestyle would help me shed those pounds pretty quickly. Maybe not the best way to start my journey to healthy living, but I was in this for the long haul and wanted to say “good bye” for now. I was provisionally accepted into the Kidney Transplant Program at Stanford University. I weighed in at 274 which put me RIGHT at 40.6 BMI and typically they only take patients with a BMI of 40 or lower – JUST right on the edge. But because I had been losing weight on my own and because it was SO close, they took a chance on me and I was placed on the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) national transplant list. I had 38 pounds to lose. It sure seemed like a lot, but we had a plan.
Consulting with my doctor and my family, I decided I wouldn’t go full carnivore like my wife Cassie – that much dependence on protein could negatively affect my kidney health. But curbing carb consumption was going to be the key to my success. After all the articles my wife sent me about how the body turns carbs into sugar, about glucose intolerance, and about how prevalent sugar is in our food, I finally woke up to how much inadvertent damage I was doing to my body. Sure, I had cut back on my sugar consumption – but not really. When you consider the rice, bread, chips, and other foods I ate instead, it was the equivalent of eating four or five candy bars a day. Which is not to say you should ditch other carbs and eat candy bars all day. Wrong message.
It was really a matter of getting my body to work FOR me instead of AGAINST me. I wanted to find a way to eat happy AND healthy without feeling like I was eating like a mouse. You don’t know how often I’ve heard the idea of “calories in, calories out” as the key to losing weight. But what they don’t tell you is that the TYPE of calories matter far more than what they measure. Calories are simply a number. You and I both know that 2000 calories a day of meat and veggies is very different than 2000 calories of soda, candy, and cookies. Fiber, nutrients, complex carbs, saturated fats – they all play a part in keeping your body healthy. If you only care about “calories in, calories out” you can still gain weight and/or do harm to your body.
By focusing on a keto lifestyle, I’m taking away those excess sugars and giving my body a chance to really work on the stores of fat. And so far it’s working! As of today, I’m below 250 for the first time probably since college. I only have about 15 more pounds to go before I’m at the right BMI for a transplant. I feel great. I feel healthier than I have for a while. And it is SO nice to feel the weight dropping off. In about 3 months, I’ve been able to steadily lose about 25 pounds and its made a huge difference. I’m hoping it’s only 2-3 more months before hitting that goal! But if it takes a little longer, that’s okay. As long as I keep making steady progress and doing it in a healthy way. Next time I’ll talk more about exactly what I’ve been doing and where we are in the process.
Inconceivable!
“Inconceivable!”
“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” If you’re a fan of The Princess Bride, you already know what we’re talking about, but for those of you who missed this gem of a movie let me fill you in. Vizzini is the brains behind a motley crew of three mercenaries, along with Inigo Montoya and Fezzik the Giant, who have just kidnapped Princess Buttercup. As they are taking her to her impending doom, Inigo suspects they are being followed, but Viziini declares that would be “inconceivable.” When they land in the country of Florin and are scaling the Cliffs of Insanity, there is a Man in Black following them up the sheer cliff face…and gaining on them! Vizzini sees this and declares, “Inconceivable!” When they get to the top of the cliffs and cut the rope that guided them up to the top, the Man in Black is hanging by his bare hands on the cliff wall to which Vizzini again declares that to be “Inconceivable!” At which point, Inigo turns to him and says, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Inconceivable.
Literally means “not being capable of being imagined or grasped mentally; unbelievable.”[1] Like a mental roadblock, even when it’s happening before us, our mind cannot comprehend it in its entirety. That’s what was happening to Vizzini. His own mind could not accept the reality of what he was seeing before his eyes. What, to him, was unimaginable was happening right in front of him and he could not wrap his mind around it. Unfortunately, that happens to us outside of the silver screen, too. Throughout history we have often had a closed mind on the possibilities in God’s world. On the lightbulb, the British Parliamentary Committtee remarked back in 1878 “… good enough for our transatlantic friends … but unworthy of the attention of practical or scientific men.” On the automobile, Literary Digest wrote in 1899, “The ordinary ‘horseless carriage’ is at present a luxury for the wealthy; and although its price will probably fall in the future, it will never, of course, come into as common use as the bicycle.” On the television, American radio pioneer Lee DeForest said, “While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time dreaming.” And on the computer, John Von Neumann wrote in 1949, “We have reached the limits of what is possible to achieve with computer technology.”[2] In 1949. I wonder what he would say today. Maybe, “Inconceivable!”
I imagine Peter said the same thing to Jesus – “Inconceivable!”
The disciples are sitting around the table at the Last Supper when in the middle of their talk, Jesus turns to Peter and says in Luke 22, 31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” Peter (who was also called Simon), must have been confused. He probably considered himself to be the most loyal disciple. After all, he was the one who first recognized Jesus as the promised Messiah and he’s been with Jesus right from the beginning. So he tells Jesus, 33 …“Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” 34 Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.” Peter doesn’t respond, but you can imagine that in his head, he was saying, “Inconceivable!” and yet he does exactly that very thing. It’s because Peter couldn’t imagine a time when he would ever deny Jesus. But he also probably couldn’t imagine the true Messiah being duped by someone like Judas. He couldn’t imagine the Lord and Savior of the Israeli people being captured by the Roman guards and being led away like some commoner. He probably counted on Jesus to protect him and all the other disciples from the wrath of the high priests. But then everything seemed to crumble away, and in just a few short hours, too. Suddenly, Peter did the very thing Jesus predicted and denied him three times.
There’s another story in the Bible, similar but with a different ending.
It happens right after Jesus takes Peter, John, and James with him to a high mountain top and the three disciples see Jesus not as a human, but truly as the Son of God. They see him talking with Moses and Elijah, two great leaders of the Jewish people long dead, and they hear the voice of God himself saying, “This is my Son, whom I love. Listen to him!” Can you imagine being there and experiencing for yourself the awesome spectacle in front of you? Watching the dead talk to the living and hearing the very voice of God? After this, Jesus and the three disciples are coming down from the mountain and this is where we begin our story.
14 When they came to the other disciples, they saw a large crowd around them and the teachers of the law arguing with them. 15 As soon as all the people saw Jesus, they were overwhelmed with wonder and ran to greet him.16 “What are you arguing with them about?” he asked.
17 A man in the crowd answered, “Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18 Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not.”
19 “You unbelieving generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me.” 20 So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. 21 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”
“From childhood,” he answered. 22 “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
23 “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
25 When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.” 26 The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” 27 But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up. 28 After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”
29 He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.” – Mark 9:14-29
“Help me overcome my unbelief.”
Christ wants us to be open to possibilities that seem impossible. He wants us to be willing to stretch our minds and embrace the unimaginable. Napoleon Hill is best known as the self-help author who coined the saying, “Whatever the mind… can conceive and believe it can achieve.” We are the first stumbling block. Our own preconceptions get in the way of what’s possible. Yoda was trying to teach Luke this lesson in the swamps of Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back. Yoda, no bigger than the size of a backpack, mentally lifted out Luke’s X-Wing out of the swamp and carried this starship made of tons of metal over to dry land, Luke whispered, “I don’t believe it.” And Yoda responded, “That is why you fail.” The father of the sick young boy in our story this morning gets it. He’s open to the possibility there’s something MORE even if he can’t imagine it for himself and he turns to Jesus for help. “I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief!” Opening your mind to new possibilities and recognizing we are sometimes limited by our own preconceptions is how we overcome the inconceivable.
The world’s greatest achievements are great because they seemed insurmountable.
But then someone found a way to overcome them. Whatever the problem, whatever the challenge, there were people who found a way to achieve what no one thought they could. I can remember watching the 1980 Olympics at Lake Placid and the Miracle on Ice. Nobody thought the USA had a chance in ice hockey. We barely fielded a team. But they just kept beating the odds and counting down those final seconds as the US held on to a 4-3 lead over the Soviet Union was nothing short of amazing. Or watching Kirk Gibson hit a home run in the 1988 World Series against the world’s best closer, Dennis Eckersley. With literally almost no leg to stand on after being injured, he came up to the plate after telling manager Tommy Lasorda, “I think I have one good swing left in me,” and cranked it over the fence to give the Dodgers the win.[3] Humanity is able to do some pretty amazing things. Sports are filled with stories of triumph but the most amazing stories often happen outside of an arena. Whether it’s landing on the moon or watching the Berlin Wall come crumbling down or creating a vaccine to save millions of lives in under a year, we can find a way to triumph in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. But it starts with hope. It starts with being able to conceive the inconceivable. I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes of all time. Robert Kennedy once said, “Some men see things as they are and say ‘Why’? I dream things that never were and say ‘Why not’?”[4] In these tumultuous times, let us not lose hope. Let us keep our minds open to possibilities we can’t even imagine. Let us approach each problem with an open mind and an open heart and see where God is leading us. After all, we follow a God who is used to doing the inconceivable.
[1] According to Yahoo! 2022-01-25 powered by Oxford Dictionaries
[2] https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/articles/10-inventions-no-one-thought-would-be-a-success/
[3] From Baseball Inning 9 by Ken Burns
[4] Quoting George Bernard Shaw. https://www.forbes.com/sites/joanmichelson2/2018/06/07/dream-things-that-never-were-and-say-why-not-what-innovators-can-learn-robert-f-kennedy/?sh=5573261226cf
Call Me…Keto Craig
Trying to live a keto lifestyle while fighting chronic kidney disease.
For over 12 years, I’ve had chronic kidney disease (CKD). How I got to that point is a long story on its own, but I’ve been able to maintain reasonable kidney function for a long time. Then at the end of 2019, the day after Christmas, I landed in the hospital with acute kidney failure. The same thing that caused my condition in the first place reared its ugly head once more and my kidney function (eGFR) plummeted. Suddenly, my kidneys had gone from about 40% to 14%. After some good care by my team of doctors, I was stable and my kidneys rebounded a little, but quickly dropped back down again. I’ve been hovering around 10-15% for about five months. Definitely have dropped to Stage 5.
Which means I’m at the end stage of CKD. We’ve been exploring dialysis options, but long-term my best option is a kidney transplant. There are a lot of requirements to be eligible for one. Thankfully, my wife helped me get over the biggest hurdle when she volunteered to be a living donor. (Small plug for anyone considering helping to save a life – give a kidney if you can! God gave you two and you only need one healthy one to live a full life. Ask Cassie grandfather who’s now in his 90’s and has had only one for about 70 years). That means my wait for a kidney will be reduced by years! And although I’m very fortunate to have had few other complications, there’s one I’ve struggled with my entire adult life – being overweight. To be eligible for the transplant, the team at Stanford wants me to be at a BMI lower than 35. To do that, I needed to lose about 35 more pounds!
I’ve been overweight for as long as I can remember. It was never easy to deal with, and I feel like I’ve tried nearly everything. I’ve done Weight Watchers (where I did lose a lot at first, but I can find a way to break any system), I’ve gone gluten-free, I’ve done intense workouts, I’ve even been on Dr. Phil! But there’s one change in lifestyle I’ve avoided for so long – keto. Living a keto lifestyle just seemed a hill too steep to climb. I love my carbs! And as a lifelong Japanese-American, rice has been a staple of my diet as much as water and air. Plus, everything I’ve heard about keto was “high protein, high fat!” And if there’s one thing every nephrologist (kidney specialist) and every dietician will tell you – too much protein is a fast track to kidney failure.
But my wife went on a form of keto about two years ago at the beginning of 2020 (called carnivore which is not just low carb but zero carb) and she has lost a TON of weight! Over 125 pounds! And most of that was in the first year. Not only was she not suffering, she was even happier than before while losing weight. So I read up on this whole keto thing – and even keto people are constantly saying “high protein, high fat!” and there was no way I could make THAT work…or could I? As my kidney function kept getting progressively worse and dialysis more and more around the corner, I kept wondering “Could I make it work?”
The key, it seemed, WASN’T “eat a whole lot of protein.” It was really about reducing your carb intake and replacing it with healthy fat content. I read this great article by The New York Times which summarizes the benefits (and drawbacks) of living a keto lifestyle in a fair and measured way far better than I can do here. Bottom line for me, trying this wasn’t out of my reach. I could reduce my carbs without increasing my protein by replacing carbs with more veggies – something my doctors have wanted me to do anyway. And because keto relies on fats to replace carbs, I can have things like salad dressing (not every kind) to make those veggies taste even better. So far, the results are very promising.
I’m telling you all this because it was so hard to find any information on following a keto diet while dealing with CKD. And while keto has certainly helped those with diabetes and other health conditions, I couldn’t find anything for people going through what I was going through. Yet the benefits seemed so clear. Of course, I talked about all of this with my doctor first and because I’m in Stage 5, I get blood drawn every month which helps me monitor things like protein levels, phosphorous, cholesterol, etc. I’m not a doctor and as every website on earth will tell you, don’t try changing your lifestyle without professional medical consultation. But if documenting this journey can help anyone out there dealing with chronic kidney disease and hoping to lose weight and be healthier, then if nothing else this will all be worth it. Be well and keep following for updates!
Craig's Corner 