A Kidney Between Us

⁶Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. ⁷ Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ⁹ As it is written:

“They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor;
    their righteousness endures forever.

¹⁰ Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. ¹¹ You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

¹² This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. ¹³ Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. ¹⁴ And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. ¹⁵ Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! – 2 Corinthians 9:6-15.

I thought it was just the flu.

I had only a slight fever and other than feeling queasy (and being in the restroom constantly), I felt fine. But after the second day, I suddenly got a severe leg cramp in the middle of the night in both of my legs. Now, I’ve had cramps before, but this was different.  It hurt like it never had before. I tried all the tricks at my disposal; stretching, flexing, drinking tons of water, but the pain just kept going on. FINALLY, after what seemed like a millennium (and I’m sure was no more than 30 minutes), it subsided enough for me to get up.  I woke up Cassie at 1am and told her I needed to go to the hospital. It was literally like five minutes away, so I drove myself. I was starting to feel kind of woozy, but I just figured it was from the cramps. After a couple of hours in the ER, they finally took me back to triage, and I was feeling really weak. They decided to do a standing x-ray to see what was going on inside of me, but I literally couldn’t stand up. The technician had to keep helping me and I kept leaning back and sliding down. So, they put me on the exam table to do an x-ray from above…and I nearly rolled off the table. I felt myself just going over the edge like I was going downhill and felt the technician’s hand on my shoulder to pull me back. Then everything went black. When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. I had an IV tube in my arm, the TV was on, Cassie was right there holding my hand with Emma and my mother-in-law there, too. I looked up at the clock, and it was two in the afternoon. Where had ten hours of my life gone? The doctor came in and told me I had a near complete collapse of my kidneys. I was suffering from severe dehydration. Cause? Unknown. To this day it’s still unknown and it’s happened to me at least two times since then. Same exact thing. That day, they had to give me eight bags of IV fluid, and the doctor told me it would take a while for my kidneys to recover. But they never did.

That was the beginning of the end.

Of my kidneys that is. From that point on it was a weird roller coaster ride to the end. Thanks to some very good doctors I had when we moved to Fresno, we were able to hold off deterioration of my kidney function for ten years!  But that mysterious flu came back twice after ten years and plummeted me into Stage 4 Renal Failure, meaning it was time to look for a donor.  Cassie volunteered right away to see if she was a match. They told us that it wasn’t likely but that if she was willing, they could do a donor swap where I would get someone else’s kidney and someone else would get Cassie’s. Testing took about six months and at the end of it they brought us in and told us we were a match. I, of course, already knew that but they meant biologically. Then more testing.  And more testing. They even tested us on the day of the surgery to make sure that nothing had changed.  One time Cassie had to go in by herself and talk to a social worker to make sure she wasn’t being coerced into doing it because that’s actually a thing.  At 6am on May 4, 2022, they wheeled Cassie into surgery. I got to watch as they took her down the hall. Then I had to wait for my turn.  About 10am, they came into the room and told me she did great and asked if I was ready. After all of that, what was I going to say? No? It was exciting and a bit nerve-wracking going down that hall. Cassie was still in recovery so I wasn’t able to see her, but all the doctors were great. I had already met the team so that put me at ease and when I woke up, I was already in my room and there was Cassie at the side of my bed with a smile on her face, holding my hand. It was very sweet, just like in a movie. She was in a wheelchair, but the nurses brought her in to see me. Everything had gone according to plan. When we got married and said through sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part? Well, now it’s literal.

So, why am I telling you all of this?

Because today is one of the Awareness Special Sundays of the United Methodist Church. And unlike the other four, this is the only one based around a social principle.  The others are Heritage Sunday, celebrating our United Methodist history; Laity Sunday, recognizing the hard work of our laity in every church; and Women and Men’s Ministry Sundays highlighting the importance of discipleship for both women and men. But today’s special Sunday is Organ and Tissue Donor Sunday. In our Social Principles, a book documenting those beliefs we lift up together as the body of the church, it states, “We believe that organ transplantation and organ donation are acts of charity, agape love, and self-sacrifice. We recognize the life-giving benefits of organ and other tissue donation and encourage all people of faith to become organ and tissue donors as a part of their love and ministry to others in need.”[1] In 2000, the General Conference thought this topic was so important and so in need of education that they voted to make it a Special Sunday. And they set it close to Thanksgiving to emphasize “the issues of life and gratitude” surrounding the holiday.[2]

I know I have a lot to be grateful for.

Cassie’s act of love and self-sacrifice made it possible for me to avoid dialysis.  And it was close. By the time I was approved for the transplant, I was down to only 5% function in my kidneys. It would have been down to weeks instead of months or years when I would be forced to go on dialysis. They even put in a fistula just in case I needed it in an emergency. That’s how close I was to complete kidney failure. Soon my body would not be able to process waste any longer. Plus, at that low level of kidney function I was already tired a lot. I couldn’t walk as far without getting short of breath. My lips would get so chapped they would break all the time, and it made it hard to eat without a ton of lip ointment. Plus, my breath smelled. And it was only going to get worse. Being on dialysis is really hard and takes a lot of adjustment for everyone in your circle of friends and family. And you have to go in at least three times a week for four hours at a time to process the waste. It makes it hard to travel for sure let alone setting aside that time every week.  With the transplant, the doctors weren’t kidding. I felt better very fast. I stopped getting tired. My breath stopped smelling. I could eat again without pain. I was able to get off a ton of medication.  It was a freedom I don’t know if I appreciated before, and that is an incredible gift, too.  And it was a huge blessing to receive it from my wife. Only about 2% of all kidney donors are spouses.[3] Most living donors are related biologically and the vast majority come from deceased donors.  Now I get to have Cassie with me the rest of my life.

Organ donation is truly an act of agape love.

You don’t get anything for it (except a cool shirt and lots of praise from the nursing staff). But you do get to give a person a whole new lease on life and that is remarkable. Kidneys are by far the most needed organ. There are nearly 100,000 people on the list and last year they only performed about 28,000. Which is a lot. But if they had more organs, they could do more transplants. Right now, they estimate that every seven minutes another person is added to the transplant donor list and that twelve people die each day hoping for a transplant. Of all the different types of transplants, kidneys are one of the few where there are more people waiting than there are donors.[4] Sometimes I think that’s why God gave us two.  Did you know you only need one to live a full and healthy life?  It’s true.  Cassie’s grandfather, Hatch, who just recently passed away at 101 had lived without a second kidney for over 70 years!  If you only have one kidney, it will grow in capacity and do the work that two did together.  The second one is really a backup.  And if you’re afraid you might one day need that backup?  Kidney donors are always at the very top of the list for transplants. It’s one of the perks for donating one of yours. You bypass the line if you ever need one yourself. Kind of like a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. 

Here’s the thing.

The need is great but there are not enough donors. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a spouse who is a match. Sometimes people in need are afraid to ask because they feel the burden is so great.  Sometimes people who might be donors are afraid. Let me assure you now that this is a very safe procedure for the donor. There is less than a 0.01% chance of anything going wrong.[5] At a minimum, if you are not already registered to be an organ donor when you pass away, would you please consider doing so? Even though 93% of adults support organ donation, only 53% are actually signed up for it.[6] If you’re in that 40% who support it but haven’t signed up, please do so. Your organs can save the lives of up to 8 people and help possibly 75 more.[7] And if you’re really brave and generous, consider being a living donor. I can tell you from experience, it can change the life of another person and yours as well. Living donor organs last longer and function better, but more than that, it truly is an act of generosity and love in the most incredible way possible. As it says in our passage, giving is a blessing. It not only reaps generosity for you but is a witness to the love of Christ within us. After all, he gave you two, didn’t he?

---

[1] https://www.resourceumc.org/en/content/mission-moments-for-november-10-2024-organ-and-tissue-donor-awareness-sunday

[2] Ibid.

[3] That number comes from 8% of living donors being spouses which equals about 512 donors. Compared to the overall “roughly 28,000” total transplants you have roughly 2%.

[4] https://www.organdonor.gov/learn/organ-donation-statistics

[5] Today that number is even lower. According to studies, only 5 donors have died over the previous decade (2013-2024) out of over 250,000 transplants. Google Gemini compiled a number in excess of 274,000 donations during this time period but this is a compilation of data from OPTN/SRTR Annual Data Report and UNOS and may not be 100% accurate given the different data bases so I’m using a lower number for perspective but it is a fact only 5 have died from complications.

[6] https://www.organdonor.gov/learn/organ-donation-statistics

[7] Ibid.